


In Which A Search is Organdized, and Finn Nearly Meets Kylo Ren Again

by IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis



Series: The Hundred Acre Galaxy [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Winnie-the-Pooh - A. A. Milne
Genre: AU, Crack, Mash-up, Meta, Mistaken Identity, Parody, Pilot of Very Little Brain, That's Not How The Force Works, porgs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 22:52:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16942236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis/pseuds/IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis
Summary: Chewbacca has lost a porg. Not just any porg, but a particular porg by the name of Very Small and Squeaky Honorary Co-Pilot, or “Small” for short. The entire base is mobilized to find him, not least because “A Distraught Wookie is a Volatile Wookie.”And also because fierce Rey-bit will not take no for an answer.Join Poe Bear, Finn-let, and all their friends from the Hundred Acre galaxy in this completely crack mashup of Star Wars and Winnie-The-Pooh.





	In Which A Search is Organdized, and Finn Nearly Meets Kylo Ren Again

**Author's Note:**

> Each episode in this series can stand alone – you don’t have to read the first work in order to make sense of this one. As much sense as can be made of it, anyway. The character mappings are already changing from work to work, depending on what seems to work best for the story. 
> 
> Obviously, everyone is a bit OOC, given that I have combined their personalities with Winnie the Pooh characters. A handful of lines are taken straight (and many more twisted) from the chapter “In A Search is Organdized, and Piglet Nearly Meets the Heffalump Again,” in A. A. Milne’s book The House At Pooh Corner. I am of the opinion that this is not plagiarism, but fair use in the case of a parody. If you are interested in comparing this parody to the Milne’s text, you can find the story in chapter 3 of that book. 
> 
> Standard disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or any of the Star Wars characters, nor do I hold the copyright for Winnie-the-Pooh, nor the license for use of the Winnie-The-Pooh characters. I am not making any money from this fic, but have written it solely for the amusement for myself and my family, and perhaps for others as well.  
> If you have a favorite chapter from the Pooh books, or an idea for a different character mapping, feel free to make requests.

Chapter II  
In Which A Search is Organdized, and Finnlet Nearly Meets Kylo Ren Again 

Cast of Characters:  
Poe (Pooh) – a Pilot of very little brain  
Finn (Piglet)   
Rey-bit  
A Porg (by the name of Small)  
General Organa (Christopher Robin)  
Threepi-ore

*****************

Poe was in his quarters one day, counting up bottles of styling mousse. He might need to be sure to buy some next time he was off base – it would not pay to run out, and have folks find out just how cultivated these “natural” messy curls were.  
“Six... Seven... Eight...”  
There was a knock at the door.  
“Nine,” said Poe. “Come in! Nine... or was it ten? Kriff, now I’ve lost track.”   
The door opened as he started again, “One... Two...”

“Hello, Poe,” said Rey, stifling her laughter as Poe quickly swept the bottles of mousse behind his bunk, and turned to face her. “How had he not noticed that we all know about his mousse?” she marveled.  
“Hello, Rey-bit. Ten, wasn’t it?”  
“Ten what?”  
“The bottles... ah... the bets – the Bets! that have been placed on which system will join the resistance next. Ten options in the pool so far, right?”  
“Ten, that’s right,” said Rey, rolling her eyes. Did he seriously have ten bottles of mousse in his quarters?  
“Are you sure?”  
“No,” said Rey. “Does it matter?”  
“No,” said Poe, petulantly, “I just like to keep well informed.”  
“You sure do,” muttered Rey under her breath, then coughed a cough that sounded suspiciously like “Holdo.”

“But what I have come to see you about,” she continued, “was not the latest betting pool, but Small. Have you seen Small anywhere?”  
“I don’t think so,” said Poe. Then after thinking a little bit more, he added, “What’s a Small?”  
“Ah. That would be the name of one of Chewbacca’s porgs. Likes to sit on the dashboard of the Falcon?”

This didn’t help Poe much, because Chewbacca had so very many porgs, and they were all small, and (as far as Poe could tell) identical in appearance.   
“I haven’t seen any porgs today,” Poe said, trying to appear Thoughtful. “Did you want him for anything?”  
“It is not that I want him. But Chewie is quite distraught.” 

Rey, for one, was beginning to think that it might be for the best if all of the porgs went Missing, given their propensity for eating the innards of their few remaining ships. But they seemed to be a comfort to Chewie, and General Organa was inclined to indulge him, out of their mutual fondness for the memory of Han. 

Poe was befuddled. “Is he missing, then?”  
“Chewbacca or Small?” Rey asked.   
Poe blinked at her blankly, so Rey answered, “Chewie has not seen Small in a Long Time, so I suppose he is missing. Small, that is. Anyway,” she continued, standing up straighter to convey that she was on Official Business, “I promised General Organa that I’d organize a search for him, so come on. A Distraught Wookie is a Volatile Wookie.”  
Poe said a silent, affectionate goodbye to his “at least ten, I hope!” bottles of mousse, and followed Rey-bit out of the barracks, through the hangar, and into the field outside.

“Now,” said Rey, “This is a search, and I have Organized it...”  
“Done what to it, Rey-bit?” asked Poe.  
“Organized it!” said Rey, impatiently.   
Honestly, Rey-bit? She wasn’t any smaller than Poe. And how did he not know the word Organize?   
She shook off these thoughts, and tried to explain more patiently, “It means... it’s what you do when there are a lot of people searching, and you don’t want everybody to look in the same place.”   
Chewie had porgs all over the base, and they had begun to spread off the base and into the nearby forest. Where would one begin to look for a particular porg in a virtual porg haystack? A muddled search would not do at all.

“This is a drawing of the Porg in Question.”   
Rey handed Poe a drawing that Resembled a porg. Rey could draw much better than this, so he had to conclude that Chewie had drawn it. Or perhaps Finn-let! Sweet Finn-let was not much of a draw-er, but... Poe sighed, and smiled goofily. “Finn-let,” he whispered.   
Rey cleared her throat. “What was that, Poe?”  
“I was just... ah... I was wondering if Finn-let... that is, if Finn has also been Organdized.”  
“We ALL are,” clarified Rey, and continued, “I want you to start out by the first lookout, and make your way back from there towards Chewie’s camp, which is where we are all converging, as if it were the hub of a wheel. Understand?”  
“No, Rey-bit“ said Poe, “What...”  
“Wonderful! I’ll see you at Chewie’s in one standard hour!” and she jogged back towards the base.  
“Likely to way-lay some other unsuspecting officer,” Poe thought, petulantly. 

It was then that Poe realized that he ought to have asked Rey if Small had any distinguishing features (perhaps all porgs did not look exactly the same), or bad habits (such as biting someone who was Only Trying to Help), and as it was Too Late Now, he thought that the best thing to do was to begin the porg hunt by looking for Finn-let, who knew a great many things, such as how to escape star destroyers, how to impersonate Imperial officers (sort of), and how to wear other people’s leather jackets with a surprising amount of casual chic. Poe sighed happily, and looked off into the distance.   
“Yes! Finn-let will know all the answers to my questions about Small, and thus it is imperative that I find Finn-let at once. Surely even fierce little Rey-bit would acknowledge that this is a Very Important Thing to Do before heading off to the first lookout, wherever that is. (Who does she think I am? A sentry?!)”

“Now, it is no good looking for Finn-let at the first lookout,” said Poe to himself, “because he’s been organdized in a special place of his own. So I shall have to begin by looking for Finn-let’s _Special Place_.” 

** Hux ran through the background of the shot, tearing at his hair and screaming, “are you even being serious right now?!” **

So Poe wrote it down in his head like this:  
Order of Looking for Things  
1\. Special Place (Finn-let’s)  
2\. Finn-let (who will tell me all about Small)  
3\. Small (Rey-bit wants me to look for Small)  
4\. Chewbacca (to tell him I found Small, so he can stop being distraught)  
5\. Small (to tell him I found Chewbacca, so he can stop being lost)  
And he stomped off into the forest, thinking of how he’d rather be flying, and this was a poor use of his talents, and soon he began muttering to himself.  
“Five things to look for seems like a very long list,” Poe complained. “How annoying.” 

The next moment, the day became very annoying indeed, as Poe stepped into a piece of the forest that had been left out by mistake; and he only just had time to think, “I’m flying, but without an X-Wing, which feels entirely wrong, but still, better than walking, except that I suppose I will have to land eventually,” and sure enough, just then he came to a hard stop.

“Ow!” squeaked a voice.   
“That’s funny,” thought Poe, “I said ‘Ow!’ without opening my mouth! I wonder if I have the Force?”  
“Help!” said a small, strangled voice.  
“Strange,” thought Poe, “That must be me again. I must have had a Bad Accident, if I can’t use my mouth. How lucky I am to discover that I have the Force!”  
“Help! Help!”  
“There you go. It must be worse than I thought. I would never repeatedly cry for help on my own! The Force has clearly taken over completely!”  
And then he thought that perhaps he ought to try saying something with his own right voice, just in case, and he said, “A Very Bad Accident for Poe.”

“Poe-Bear!” gasped Finn.  
“Finnlet!” cried Poe eagerly. “Where are you?”  
“Underneath,” said Finn, in an... underneath sort of way.  
“Underneath what?” wondered Poe out loud.  
“Underneath you, Poe Bear. Get up!”

“Oh!” Said Poe, and scrambled to his feet as quickly as he could. “Did I fall on you, Buddy?”  
“Yeah, you fell on me,” said Finn, feeling himself all over before reaching his hand out so Poe could pull him up.  
“I didn’t mean to,” said Poe, sorrowfully.

** “You don’t mean to do all sorts of things,” said Rose, bitterly. “I don’t imagine you meant to lead my sister to a meaningless death, you arrogant...”   
A gust of wind blew her away from the scene, Deus Ex Machina, before she could use a word that would make the Disney execs nervous.**

Finn considered that, while dusting himself off. “Well,” he began cautiously, “I didn’t mean to be underneath... But I’m alright now, and if I had to be underneath anybody, Poe-Bear, then I’m glad it was you.”

**”I knew it!” exclaimed Hux, just as a gust of wind caught him too, and hopefully blew him in the same direction as Rose, because she has WAY more chemistry with Hux than she does with Finn. And as long as Poe’s around, biting his lip and all, really no one else has a chance with Finn.**

“What’s happened, Finnlet? Where are we?”  
“I think we’re in a sort of pit? I was just walking along, looking for some-porg, and then suddenly I wasn’t walking anymore, and just when I got up to see where I was, I was on the ground again, underneath someone, who turned out to be you.”  
“So it was!” agreed Poe.  
“Yes,” said Finn. 

“Poe,” he went on nervously, “Do you think we’re in a trap?”  
Poe had not been thinking anything at all, other than, “I found Finn-let! Just like I meant to!!” and perhaps, “it seems a long time since I had some caf.” But now he nodded. For he remembered Threepi-ore telling a story about some Ewoks who made a trap hauling Luke and Han and everybody up a tree, and if there were traps that could lift you up, then surely there were traps that could pull you down. Down down, in a Very Dark Place... this must be a Darksider trap! He and Finnlet were all but in the very hands of the First Order!

“You mean Ky-y-ky-lo R-ren?” Finn stumbled on his words, overwhelmed with fear.  
Poe nodded solemnly.  
Finn looked up the steep walls of the Pit, as if he were hoping to find a ladder leading out of the pit, and preferably into the next star system. “What happens when he comes for us?”  
“I don’t think he meant to trap you Finnlet. It seems more likely it was set for me, the Best Pilot in the Resistance! I doubt he’ll notice you.”  
“How will he not notice me?!” Finn shrieked. “This hole is not that big!”  
“Well... I shall hide you behind me.”   
Finn was not satisfied with this answer. “But he’ll notice you, Poe-Bear.”

“He’ll notice me. Yes. And I’ll notice him,” said Poe, thinking it out. “We shall notice each other for a time...”   
Finn did not like the sound of all of this noticing.   
“...and then he’ll sneer, and say, ‘Dameron.’ And I will say, ‘Ren.”  
“But...”said Finn, “What if he simply says, ‘Dameron’ again?”  
“He will. He will say, ‘Dameron,” again, and I will again reply, ‘Ren.’ And that will upset him. Because when you’ve said a person’s name twice, in a threatening sort of way, and they seem a bit bored by you, you suddenly find, as you are about to say it a third time, that...”  
“You feel a bit silly?”  
“Exactly. Kylo Ren will feel silly. And that will make him angry. Then I imagine that he will reach out to Force choke me, but I have the Force now too, so it will not work, and I will just start humming the old Imperial March, and he will be Even More Irritated.”

Finn did not think it was such a wise idea to irritate a Force User. Which reminded him. “Force User?”  
“What?” asked Poe, ripped out of his marvelous fantasy of getting the better of Kylo Ren.  
“You said that you could use the Force?” asked Finn.  
“Ah... Yes, Finnlet, my buddy. I can Force Speak. And if I can Force Speak, then there are many other things I can do, just waiting to be revealed.”  
“Force... speak?” asked Finn uncertainly, who had never heard anything about this from Rey.  
“Yes, you know, like when I called out ‘Help! Help!’ when I first fell in this hole, before I found you, ummm, under me. I didn’t even have to open my mouth,” he said proudly.

Finn, who was quite sure that he was the one who had said, “Help! Help!” was stunned into silence. For the first time, he was Beginning to Doubt Poe.  
Poe continued, “But I can’t just go on humming forever, so I shall then say, ‘How do you like this trap I have made for Kylos? I have been sitting here all alone waiting for a Kylo to fall in.’ And he will be Confused and Unsettled.”

Finn did not provide his admiration for this strategic masterpiece quite quickly enough, so Poe himself supplied the praise, “I have saved us, Finnlet!”  
Finn was not quite sure about this, but he could not think of a better plan, given the fact that they were indisputably stuck in the bottom of a hole made by Kylo Ren, with no escape as far as he could see.   
But he thought, rather suddenly, that it would be nicer if he were the one taunting Kylo Ren so audaciously. After all, Rey had been knocked out when he had bravely rushed Ren, lightsaber in hand. All she had seen was the aftermath, with his back split open. No one knew how long he had held out, how brave and skilled he had been as he fought the legendary warrior. 

Perhaps if Finn were the one to save Poe...   
After all, he had much more insight into Kylo Ren’s mindset, and the conversation would go much better with Finn in charge. He had been terrified before, but it seemed so easy now. He began to imagine it:  
REN: Traitor!  
FINN: I’m not afraid of you.  
REN: You should be.  
FINN: Should I? I successfully escaped the First Order, unlike you. Do you really want to keep taking orders from Hux?  
REN: I don’t take orders from... [growls] Don’t you remember what I did to you last time?  
FINN: I remember that I survived. And I got to fly away with Rey, unlike you.  
REN: [making a strangled sound] Rey...  
FINN: Rather clever of me to wait for you in this hole. I have you cornered now.  
REN: You have me cornered? This was a trap that I made for you.  
FINN: Not at all. Because if you kill me, Rey will never accept you. But if you pull me out and take me back to the base, I will tell Rey you rescued me.   
REN: Oh! I must – I suppose I got it all wrong then.  
FINN: I’m afraid so.   
REN: I know when I’ve been outmaneuvered. Let me levitate you out of this hole.  
FINN: And Poe.  
REN: [enraged] Dameron’s in there with you?!!!  
FINN: [encouragingly] Rey...  
REN: [sighing] Fine. You and Dameron.  
POE-BEAR: Finnlet! You saved us!

While Finn was dreaming this happy daydream, and Poe was wondering just how many bottles of mousse he really had, the search for Small was ongoing in the forest above.

Small’s real name was Very Small and Squeaky Honorary Co-Pilot, but he was called Small for short, when anyone called his name at all, which was not very often, as only Rey and Chewie and General Organa knew it, or indeed could distinguish him from any of various other porgs.  
He had been staying with General Organa for a little while, sitting on her shoulder and helping her to inspect the various lookouts, when he had hopped off her shoulder and disappeared behind a tree. But instead of coming back, as she had expected, he had simply disappeared. He had not been seen for several hours since then.

General Organa had already finished her first walk through the forest, and was at Chewie’s camp receiving “orders” for her “next try” from a very focused looking Rey.  
“I expect he’s already back on the Falcon, waiting for Chewie, and Chewie doesn’t know it yet, because he’s off in the Forest looking for Small,” sighed Leia.  
“Did Small pull on a lock of your hair and flap his wings three times before jumping off your shoulder?” asked Rey.  
General Organa laughed, but when she caught the earnest look on Rey’s face, she realized that the girl was serious. She straightened her face as best she could, and said, “Not that I recall.”  
“Well then, this is Serious. He’s in some sort of Trouble. Small would never run off before saying, ‘Thank you, I had a nice time. Goodbye, because I am heading back home, now.’”  
“I see,” said General Organa.  
“So we must continue searching! Thanks for your help!” and with that, Rey ran off back into the forest.   
Leia shook her head fondly, and murmured something about “the energy of 19 year olds.”

Just then, Leia realized, “Where’s Poe?” and “Shouldn’t he be back to the camp by now?”   
Nobody else seemed much concerned. Indeed, Rose seemed to be muttering, “Good riddance,” in response to the General’s musings as to Poe’s whereabouts, and Connix mumbled something apologetic about needing to “head out to the big pile of rocks” to begin combing her new search area.  
So Leia made her way back into the forest alone, to see if Poe had lost his way, as was apt to happen when he was thinking of flying. 

It was not long before she had come to the Gravel Pit, and she looked down and saw not only Poe, but also Finn, leaning against one another, their backs towards her, dreaming happily.  
“Dameron!” shouted the General, quite loudly and suddenly.  
Finn jumped up in Surprise and Anxiety, but Poe, who by this time had lulled himself into a deep sleep by mentally rehearsing his hair care routine, remained unmoving.  
“It’s Kylo Ren!” Finn thought nervously, looking at Poe, who continued to be oblivious to what was transpiring. “It is up to me, after all.”   
And he cleared his throat, so that none of the words would stick inside, and be swallowed back before he could say them. But he did not look behind him, because if you look round and see a Very Fierce Force User looking down at you, sometimes you forget what you meant to say.

Then Finn said, in a trembling voice, “I’m not afraid of you!”  
Leia laughed and said, “No?”  
“He said the wrong thing!” thought Finn. “Perhaps I should say it for him?” So he said, “You should be!”   
“Finn, what are you doing in there?”  
“This is Terrible,” thought Finn, shutting his eyes firmly. “He is using my name, and not calling me Traitor, and all in The General’s Voice, and he’s doing it to Unsettle Me.”  
And being, in fact Completely Unsettled, he answered without thinking, in a much faster and higher pitched voice than usual, “You have cornered me! And I am now waiting to fall in, and Rey will rescue me if you pull me out!”  
And the General replied, “What?!”  
And Finn whispered, “And then he says Ren, and everything is awkward, and then he begins humming the Imperial March, he has saved us.”

How long Finn would have gone on like this, I don’t know, but at that moment Poe woke up perfectly refreshed, confident that he would not run out of mousse before the next supply run. So he got up. And as he turned his head, trying to reach a ticklish spot on his upper back, he caught sight of The General.  
“Hello!”  
“Hello, Poe,” said General Organa, with an indulgent smile.  
Finn looked cautiously over his shoulder, and then back at his feet. And he felt so Foolish and Uncomfortable, that he had almost decided to run away to the Outer Rim and become a Smuggler, when he suddenly saw something.

“Poe-Bear! There’s a Porg peeking out from inside your vest!”  
“There is, Finnlet! That explains why I felt a bit ticklish.”   
“I wonder if...” Finn started cautiously. Then he turned back towards Leia, and said, “General, I believe I have found Small.”  
“Well done, Finn,” said General Organa.  
And at these encouraging words, Finn felt quite happy again, and decided not to be a Smuggler after all.

Poe thought perhaps they ought to stay in the gravel pit a bit longer, to see if Kylo Ren might come around, but General Organa and Finn persuaded him to come out, and once Leia had devised a way to help them to the surface, they climbed out and made their way back to Chewbacca’s camp, where they had a celebration.

Two days later, Rey-bit came across Threepi-ore dithering in the Forest.   
“Hello, Threepi-ore!”  
The droid gave a nervous hop before turning to face her.   
“What are you doing in the Forest?” she continued.  
“Oh! Mistress Rey, I have been looking for Small. I believe I have begun to decipher the porg calls. It seems to be a variation on...”  
“Threepi-ore. Small was found two days ago.”

There was silence, and then Threepi-ore said, “Never mind me. I shall find my own way back before I rust in this humidity. With my aching joints, I will just slow you down.”  
“Don’t be absurd,” said Rey, and she accompanied the lost droid back to base, as he chattered on endlessly about the odds of finding a particular porg in a Forest of that Size.

**Author's Note:**

> For any folks who are inclined to take this at all seriously ... This is meant to be set after Episode VIII, with the idea that Finn is still more than a little bit scared of Kylo Ren.


End file.
